i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
