she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
