the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
