Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
