Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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