I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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