New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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