I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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