It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
