...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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