i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
