honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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