It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
