I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
worst night to have a conscience
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
