At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
tell me about the fingering
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