Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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