i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
