Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
