you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
