Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
