They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
