stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
