Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
