In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
