sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
