I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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