I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
