Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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