You can't special order awesome
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize