For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
