Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
