So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
