I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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