Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
