My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize