So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
