so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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