Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
