this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize