i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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