Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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