how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
