maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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