it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
