I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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