how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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