Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me