I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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