I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'