remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.