marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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