I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize