i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
