is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize