I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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