Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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