Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
