if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
