and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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