weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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