There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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