I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it because I queefed?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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