is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's rum buckets o'clock
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
